My very first published article appeared here in 2011; a reflective piece that looked at the current standard of some of the shows and performers in London’s West End.
It is the five year anniversary of that first article, so I thought I would mark the occasion by revisiting the topic. So put on your best frock/suit, grab that bottle of bubbly and come along to the West End reunion for the Class of ’11, to find out the answer to this one question – ‘how the heck are you all!?’
There are many faces here - some old, some new - and a few absent friends; why don’t we mingle with a few Musicals to start with?
When I wrote the 2011 article, Ghost was due to open within the next few months, and the opening was eagerly anticipated – it still is! Unfortunately, those pesky accounts of paranormal activity surrounding the production have chased away many, MANY of the cast, crew and creatives that have gotten involved with the show, and has followed Ghost unrelentingly, as it’s been forced to move from theatre to theatre. Its latest journey, to The Shaftesbury Theatre has proved uneventful so far, but whether or not it will continue to be haunted by its supernatural curse is yet to be seen.
Wicked is sadly, no longer with us. ‘Ding Dong, the witch is dead’ – for good it seems; once the Satanic verses were discovered, hidden within the lyrics in the form of subliminal messaging, the show was pretty much screwed! Composer and lyricist, Stephen Schwartz, is in the second year of his twenty-year prison sentence, but rumours are flying that he may be granted early release in exchange for information that leads police to the remaining members of his cult.
Perhaps the saddest part of this story is what happened to one of its stars, Rachel Tucker. It was widely known that she had dreamt of playing the role of Elphaba for years, so the production’s closure had a terrible effect on her. Most of you will remember the newspaper coverage of her very public melt-down: the drunken nights out; the attacks on theatre-goers; the shop-lifting charge for stealing nearly all the copies of the Wicked soundtrack on public sale in London… All attempts to help Rachel failed and she can now be found most days wandering around the Apollo Victoria theatre wearing a fancy-dress witch costume, complete with green face paint, and talking to the winged monkey toy she carries with her – she’s actually become something of a tourist attraction for the Japanese theatre fans.
A happier story for We Will Rock You, which has never seen better ticket sales in the entirety of its now, fourteen year run. No big surprise of course; the science community’s perfection of the human cloning process last year has seen great things happen for the world, not least when they brought back Freddie Mercury, who reunited with his former Queen band mates and permanently took over the role of Galileo. The show is doing so well that tickets have to be booked a year in advance – but I think we all agree that the wait is worth it.
It’s not only the classics that are enjoying success however; we have seen a number of new musicals open in the last five years, with the hottest ticket in town having to be for Moulin Rouge. Since it’s opening in November, it’s been the most talked about show of the West End and has received a record number of nominations at this month’s Olivier Awards, including Best Actor/Actress for Scott Garnham and Summer Strallen who play lead characters, Christian and Satine. It must be a specially poignant time for Ms Strallen, who was the focus of much negative attention when cast in the role, by those who, after seeing her play Meg Giry in Love Never Dies and Vivian in Broadway’s Pretty Woman, were against her in the role of yet another ‘vulnerable girl-turned prostitute’. Her star turn in the production however, has seen her become the darling of the West End; in Summer’s own words:
‘Now look at me and see what I’ve become’.
The fun, new musical, When Will I Be Famous? is another that has proven to be a popular hit. The show, which follows a group of young would-be stars taking part in a talent contest, satirises the overload of reality programmes currently on our TV screens. The new cast will be taking over next week, so let’s take the chance to say goodbye to the Original London Cast: Mark Evans, Danielle Hope, Samantha Barks, Niamh Perry, Lee Mead, Jodie Prenger, Jade Ewen, Connie Fisher, Rachel Tucker and Daniel Boys.
Here is my current Top Ten list of musicals, old and new:
10) Grease – still a well-oiled machine.
9) Thriller – a show so Smooth it should be Criminal.
8) Viva Forever – this Spice Girls showstopper is the flavour of the month.
7) Jesus Christ Superstar – the current cast continue to nail the show.
6) The Little Mermaid – made quite a splash when it arrived from Broadway.
5) The Lion King – still a roaring success.
4) Don’t Try This At Home – the WWE-inspired show that packs quite a punch.
3) Bite Me – the dark, vampire love story that is, frankly, bloody fangtastic.
- The top two positions were a close one to call, but I finally came to a decision -
2) Henry VIII I Am – open only two months, this is the story of the Tudor king’s secret wife; it tells of his marriage to the woman next door, which goes wrong when he discovers she’s been married seven times before…I believe this royal song and dance could Be-Headed for West End greatness.
1) Simon Cowell: The Musical – the most expensive show in the history of the West End, this extravaganza never fails to wow. Simon Cowell took control of the production early in its rehearsals after complaining it, ‘could be sold as a sleeping aid, I’ve never heard anything so boring in all my life’. He changed the name from the original Midas Man to I Am Superior To You All, I Am Always Right, So Worship At My Feet You Worthless Dogs’. Catchy, I think! We all know how, after Simon spent months attempting to find someone who could match his high standards of the role, he came to the conclusion that no-one was good enough and cloned himself – genetically modifying his clone to possess unrivalled vocal chords. The story begins with the rich and famous following a bright star to Brighton to witness the birth of the prophesised ‘High-Trousered One’, and charts his rise to become ‘the most powerful man in pop’. The whole show is a special experience; it has something about it, a unique factor…I just can’t quite put my finger on what it is!
How about some of the big names of 2011 though – why don’t we go in search of old friends?
I must start by mentioning Rebecca Caine; today is also her five year anniversary, but not for the same happy reasons. Five years ago today, she was kidnapped by Jonas Brother fangirls in retaliation for ‘unfollowing’ Nick Jonas on Twitter – their demand for the Jonas Brothers in exchange for her release has still not been met, and all efforts to locate Ms Caine have proven unsuccessful. Hopefully, the fangirls will soon be maturing out of the tween stage of their lives and, having realised the futility of their ‘devotion’ (obsession), will finally give our soprano back to us.
Gina Beck sadly had to retire from the stage after a private gig one night in 2012, where she hit a particularly extra- high note and not only burst her own eardrums, but those of everyone in the audience too. After settling all the lawsuits, she found a new purpose and is currently busy campaigning for the rights of West End Understudies.
Ricardo Alfonso, whose love of Disney voice-overs overcame his love of stage performance, was brought in as chairman of the Disney Corporation and proceeded to make cartoons of all his favourite West End shows – although some were not what you may call ‘suitable children’s stories’, they all managed to contain less deaths than Disney’s previous offerings (Bambi, Finding Nemo, Snow White, Tarzan, to name a few…).
After leaving Legally Blonde, Sheridan Smith’s next musical was Bridget Jones’ Diary, originating the title role. The alcohol-fuelled online tweets still continued, and once she left the production, they increased in volume, to the point where friends and family were forced to intervene and send her to the Twitter Addiction Centre. Receiving help for her ‘drunken twitter’ addiction, and also forming a fast friendship with Stuart Matthew Price – who was at the TAC for a twitter addiction to ‘self-promotion [ ;) ] – set Sheridan back on the right path and back on the stage. She and Stuart teamed up to write an original musical; it’s the story of an intellectual brunette girl who gives up her scholarship to Harvard University, following her ex-boyfriend to work in McDonalds in an attempt to win him back. Her journey sees her embracing the fast-food industry and unexpectedly falling for the boy who flips the burgers on the grill. Big Mac Brunette is being called the ‘freshest, most original musical of the last five years’. I, for one, am lovin’ it!
John Owen Jones, after leaving The Phantom of the Opera, re-joined Les Miserables as Valjean. After a year in the familiar musical, he returned to the role of The Phantom, in Love Never Dies this time. Another year spent, John travelled to Spain as part of a cultural-exchange, where he played Valjean in their Los Miserables – the London production received Madrid’s Valjean, Geronimo Rauch. In a recent interview, John spoke about his love for the role of Valjean, but also how he missed playing The Phantom. Watch this space…
Killian Donnelly is a name all will know now, being Ireland’s Prime Minister. His ascent from stage to office is well documented; he led Ireland’s rebellion against the government in 2012, when he asked of its people, ‘do we fight for the right to a night at The Opera now’? The Opera, to avoid confusion, was the Irish pub he was barred from drinking in for no longer being a ‘local Irishman’. Anyone with Irish blood knows what happen when you stand between an Irishman and his pint of Guinness…He fought the ban all the way to the top people in the government, not giving a damn for their warnings and their lies, and when the ban was still upheld, he rallied up all of those who had suffered a similar experience and overthrew the system, where his popularity as rebellion leader saw him elected as the new Prime Minister.
He hasn’t forgotten his Les Miserables friends however, most notably Jeff Nicholson; the ‘caba-way’ at Direct from the West End was sadly, only the beginning. His lofty height brought on the relatively new condition Gigantimentia, which saw him grow ever more forgetful and confused, bringing an early end to what promised to be a glittering career. Killian helped to provide for him and his family by employing Jeff as his Vertical-Apex Commodity Repossessor – basically, he gets stuff down from high places for Killian…
Killian was there for Scott Garnham too, hiring the production company ‘Musical Ovation’ exclusively for his own entertainment and giving Scott the chance to put on a different show for him every day – what a nice guy that Killian is hey? He employed Scott for two whole years, keeping him busy and creative by allowing him to spend his days creating the evening’s entertainment and his nights performing them, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year…what a fantastic opportunity for Scott! He must have been so disappointed when he had to leave to go into Moulin Rouge, as was Killian, who has made repeated requests for Scott to return. Despite his success in the musical, Scott is clearly missing his pal in Ireland - every time a member of the press mentions Killian’s name, Scott goes white in the face and has to hold back the tears, before the three bodyguards who have accompanied him everywhere since he left hurriedly whisk him away. It’s all a little strange, but rather sweet I think.
Hadley Fraser was just about to re-enter Les Miserables in 2011 as Javert, having previously played the role of Marius. He left after a year’s engagement to concentrate on his band, but came back in the New Year, to take on Enjolras this time. Another year in the show, then he once again departed, wanting to ‘pursue other interests’. Hadley spent some time doing cabaret gigs, before making an unexpected return to Les Miserables, as Jean Valjean now. His last performance was in October of last year, where he declared he wanted to move away from the musical for good. The following month, he announced he would be bringing out a modern version of the CD soundtrack, singing all the roles himself, including the female ones. Arriving in shops just in time for Christmas, it has been a revolutionary success.
Ramin Karimloo, in 2011, was the ‘golden boy’ of the West End – everyone wanted a piece of his talent. Five years ago, Ramin had just extended his run in Love Never Dies as The Phantom for another six months. Leaving the role in September, Ramin took some time to work on his solo album and band material. Theatre fans were desolate at his departure however – they simply couldn’t cope, and an alarming wave of depression swept the country. Unemployment fell as they were unable to work, hospitals, surgeries and mental health institutions were overflowing with sufferers and we slipped back into a recession as no one was paying into the economy. The Queen had to act; since we had decided that all MP’s were lying, manipulative little snakes, none of whom could be trusted, and reinstated the power of the Monarchy, it was up to our Queen to rescue her people and save her country. The law she passed, that forced Ramin to reprise his role, alternately in both The Phantom of the Opera and Love Never Dies, brought us back from the brink of disaster and Britain is now booming; God Save The Queen!
Naturally, I can’t write here about Hadley and Ramin without mentioning their band, Sheytoons. Allowed Sundays off from the stage, Ramin would get together with Hadley then and perform select gigs. Their bluegrass sound quickly caught on and a banjo craze swept the land, but their music did more than inspire some banjo-playing; the songs they played inspired the world! Their music spread over the seas, reaching every corner of the Earth, filling all who heard it with a heavenly ecstasy and bringing love and tranquillity to our little blue planet. Warring countries made peace with one another, nuclear weaponry was dismantled, violence, hate and evil disappeared and a new age began; who would have thought that World Peace could be achieved by two guys and their music…excellent! *guitar strums*
Unfortunately, like all things in life, it couldn’t last; the boys destroyed all their good work in one terrible night…
After the unveiling of their statue in the centre of London, Hadley and Ramin celebrated with a couple of beers; which it seems turned into a couple more, then a couple more and a couple more – you get the gist. Steaming drunk, they entered into a night of debauchery and destruction, which culminated with them climbing aboard a donkey in the city’s Nativity Scene, affixing a pair of red devil horns to its head and declaring they were bigger than Justin Bieber, Jesus and the Jonas Brothers!
Nobody was shocked about the Jesus statement – The Beatles had already been there and done that – but the names of the Bieber and the J-Bros awakened a sleeping giant in the hormone-riddled minds of the…FANGIRLS! When Ramin and Hadley finally climbed down off the devil’s donkey [ ;) ] they found a mob of tweenie fanatics waiting for them. The boys haven’t been seen since; one can only assume they were carried off to the same place as Rebecca Caine? Consequently, the music stopped and the world returned to the way we knew it five years prior.
So the reunion is over, and we are heading home with the faces of old friends swimming before our eyes and a head full of memories. We didn’t manage to get round to them all, but we’ve been lucky to reconnect with a few of those we once loved and met others we have come to love; danced with them, sung with them and drunk with them. Will we see the same faces at the ten-year reunion? Probably not. That’s the joy of the West End however. Whether or not it’s made up of faces old or new, we know that there will always be a reunion to go to, and it’ll always be one hell of a party!
Remember...create, love, inspire!
Miss Julie xxx
Disclaimer: all similarities to real life people/events is entirely coincidental (except when I did it on purpose) This is meant to be taken as a satirical view of the West End, but if you were offended by any of the content...get a sense of humour! ;)
